If she weren't so worn-down, she'd have twitched when he put his arm around her. And after a moment's consideration, she's glad she didn't. This is nice, and it's okay to like it, she tells herself, in defiance of the hissy snappy part of her that had pride and wanted to keep any sort of genuine emotion covered by a light and easy-to-handle layer of sass and snark. That part has its place, but not when dealing with someone who needs to be told the truth over and over again, in small words no less.
It's okay to care. It's okay to admit you care. She hadn't done that for most of her life, so accepting that had never been easy. Close to no one, caring for herself only, getting by on her writing and finding nothing in common with anyone. The False King seems like another person entirely, looking at it through the window of passed time.
When, she wonders, did it start really happening?
...that question is literally impossible to answer, isn't it? Because a part of her had cared deeply about him before she even met him, a part of her that hadn't met him until after she did but who might have known already because she was the same part that had cared before she became a different her in a different worldline -- it's all so tangled she can't separate anything into logical order, cause-and-effect, any sort of comprehension at all. All she can say is that the person she thought herself to be ended up becoming the person she is now. And that person cares very deeply. Not just about Dokja, but especially about Dokja.
"We nailed it, didn't we?" The hand that had been scrubbing his hair pats his chest, before dropping back down to lie on it. "I mean you too, you know. You saw how much we followed your blueprint. Want you to think about that. Junghyeok alone's an idiot, it took him so many tries to get it right. Me alone, I got it as perfect as anyone could without the cheats you two have, but couldn't get it to the real end till you showed up. And you did everything great except for one big big mistake. That last time? It was almost all three of us. It was almost perfect. Would've been if you'd been there with us in person."
Not that she's putting everyone down. Everyone else helped out too. Even the constellations. They were part of this all now too, weren't they? But none of them had taken the lead on a worldline, so that's something shared by just three people.
"I'd do it all again. If we all got to do it together. I'd really like that."
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It's okay to care. It's okay to admit you care. She hadn't done that for most of her life, so accepting that had never been easy. Close to no one, caring for herself only, getting by on her writing and finding nothing in common with anyone. The False King seems like another person entirely, looking at it through the window of passed time.
When, she wonders, did it start really happening?
...that question is literally impossible to answer, isn't it? Because a part of her had cared deeply about him before she even met him, a part of her that hadn't met him until after she did but who might have known already because she was the same part that had cared before she became a different her in a different worldline -- it's all so tangled she can't separate anything into logical order, cause-and-effect, any sort of comprehension at all. All she can say is that the person she thought herself to be ended up becoming the person she is now. And that person cares very deeply. Not just about Dokja, but especially about Dokja.
"We nailed it, didn't we?" The hand that had been scrubbing his hair pats his chest, before dropping back down to lie on it. "I mean you too, you know. You saw how much we followed your blueprint. Want you to think about that. Junghyeok alone's an idiot, it took him so many tries to get it right. Me alone, I got it as perfect as anyone could without the cheats you two have, but couldn't get it to the real end till you showed up. And you did everything great except for one big big mistake. That last time? It was almost all three of us. It was almost perfect. Would've been if you'd been there with us in person."
Not that she's putting everyone down. Everyone else helped out too. Even the constellations. They were part of this all now too, weren't they? But none of them had taken the lead on a worldline, so that's something shared by just three people.
"I'd do it all again. If we all got to do it together. I'd really like that."